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    3/18/2008

    又一个失眠的星期五

    睡不着!很烦!每到星期五的夜晚就会失眠,好像已经成为规律。

    是因为这段时间压力太大吗?是因为不开心的事太多吗?是因为这些事情都不能向谁诉说的原因吗?

    已经夜深人静,思绪却漫无目的,无边无沿……

    拉开窗帘,望着满天星,才知道自己原来是这样的孤寂,就和这夜一样。

    偶尔有轻轻的脚步声,却也只是这个夜的匆匆过客,星星偶尔也会划过天空,却也只有一瞬间的美好与光亮。我呢?

    呆呆地望着外面,什么也看不见,只能听见扑通扑通心跳动的声音。

    夜让我恢复了真实,在黑暗里我不用再收藏表情,强颜欢笑;

    也不用再假装坚强,隐藏脆弱,更不用担心有人会笑话自己了……。

    默默地承受着一切,不愿人知,不与人道。

    告诉自己要怎么办?要怎样才不让泪水再流?要怎样做才会好起来?才不会让自己空空洞洞?

    空洞的感觉好可怕,仿佛对一切都失去兴趣。那种连自己都受不了的死寂,连自己都搞不明白的苍白无力,真的让

    自己挠头无助。

    牵牵拌拌的亲情,虚伪背叛的友情,无奈挥手的爱情。

    看惯了分分离离的悲剧,也听多了情感路上的辛酸。

    现在的我变得痛了不知痛,爱了不知爱,需要的拒绝,美好的怀疑是不是会长久。

    我也不懂得我自己,不懂得自己还需要什么?需要温暖还是冰冷?亦或是关心还是疏远?

    想得到些什么?可又想得到就得付出?付出了又有伤害!自己的心好像已经有千疮百孔,再也经不起折腾,经不起

    伤害,想付出,可是却无法迈出这一步。

    在感情中,我剩下的只有迷茫与无奈!迷茫与无奈!迷茫与无奈!

    眼神穿不透黑暗!眼泪也无法泄尽心醉!再多的话也说不清的千丝万缕,千愁万绪!

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